


Again

by Loading_Screen



Category: Cardcaptor Sakura
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Family Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:07:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28855563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loading_Screen/pseuds/Loading_Screen
Summary: Cardcaptor Sakura if Sakura had lived a life before her current one.Warning: contains depressive thoughts as certain points; mostly me projecting lol. Also will most likely contain grammatical errors pertaining the sense, but that's okGive this story a go if you're interested! I haven't updated it in a while, will have to read the manga again for a refresher on the story before I continue
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Again

Kinomoto Sakura had always seemed to be strange as a child, staring blankly at the wall without blinking, not crying at all like babies were supposed to. Touya had come to accept the fact that his baby sister was just like that, after all, everyone was different. If anyone would question it when they came over to visit the Kinomoto household, they'd leave with a pair of eyes glaring holes into their backs.

Her mother knew that her baby was different. That she had a different kind of magic. A kind different from what she was supposed to have. But it didn't matter. She still loved her child, for as long as she could.

Sakura felt unreal. This wasn't the first time she lived. Not that she could remember anything before she was born. But nothing ever felt right to her. Her name didn't sound right when her father called from downstairs for dinner. The skin on her body felt foreign, alien.  
She wondered if there was something wrong with her. 

Three years after her birth, Sakura's mother died. Peacefully. In her sleep. She was held in the left arm of her father, his other hand held in the hands of her older brother Touya during the service.

Her mother was sweet, gentle. Sakura had wondered whether her previous mother had been the same.

Eventually, she attended elementary school. The material was easy, as if she had done something similar before. The textbooks in her desk were all filled out, notebooks empty except for the practices her teachers would make her do. She spends her day listless, looking out the window. Avoiding the eyes of her classmate and especially her teacher. 

Her house felt more like a library than anything.  
Her father was an archaeology professor in a university, books and reports were filed and scattered in shelves and cupboards across their house. 

She finds herself getting lost in the books. Reading whenever she could, in the morning during breakfast, when she could wake up early or on time. Her eyes darting from one page to the next while shoving a buttered piece of toast into her mouth. Touya teased her that she'd go cross-eyed from reading too much. Her father was happy that his daughter had taken after him.

She would read in school during classes, lugging a thick book in her backpack and thumping it on her desk. Reading during lessons, during lunch and at home. It distracted her from being left to her own devices, from thinking too hard about her mind and reincarnation.

Touya's friend Yukito was nice. Very nice in her opinion. Yukito would stay over after school at their house and would never say a word about her strange behavior.  
When Touya left to grab something from the store, Yukito had struck up a conversation with her. She didn't talk much but that was alright, Yukito had talked enough for the two of them. He talked about what had happened during school, how Touya had tripped and fell right on top of their fat gym teacher Mr. Sakama.

He talked about his favourite food, which was basically any food. He asked what her’s was and she replied that it was candy. He laughed at her childish answer and said that it was one of his favourites too.

After that, he would give her a pretty candy, wrapped in iridescent foil when he left their house, saying that it was his favorite kind.

Everyday would have a designated flavor, monday was yellow, pineapple. Tuesday was green, green apples. Wednesday was white, lychee. Thursday was pink, strawberry. Friday was blue, blue raspberry. On the weekends, he would give her chocolate, the kind that looked like pellets and were squishable.  
Sakura looked forward to his visits, not only for the candy but for his smiles. Touya had complained that he was going to give her cavities. 

When Sakura started school, she left the house with Touya, Yukito would walk together with them when they passed the house he lived in with his grandparents. Yukito then made a habit of giving her candy when they parted ways to school. Resulting in more complaining from Touya.

School was relatively quiet for her. Her classmates knew not to bother her. Not because Sakura was being mean, but simple because she was lost in her own world all the time. Only coming back to earth to correctly answer the questions her teacher threw at her. When it was during break, Sakura would pull out a heavy book and read. Until the school's sharp bells rang and it was time to go home. Touya and Yukito always waited for her at the school gates. Usually surrounded by awe-struck grade-schoolers. They kept a strict eye on her, not wanting a repeat of another off-wandering. 

Yukito would ask warm questions about her day, each day gaining a more detailed answer from the unfocused girl. Touya would poke fun at her teachers, secretly happy that she was interacting with the two of them more and more.

On late nights, Sakura found herself alone with her thoughts. Not wanting to wake her family--she's gotten used to thinking of them as that-- she couldn't open the lights to read. Sakura' s thoughts quickly spiralled and left her alone with clashing images of blood and stained concrete streets.

Her thoughts left her wondering if anything was really worth living for. If she was going to die and be reborn again and again, then what was the point in trying? Her father and Touya would share heavy looks on days like those. Her father would smile softly and gently ask if she wanted to take the day off and come to work with him. Sakura sometimes felt like crying when she heard him speak in such a soft tone. If she said no, then Touya would carry her on his shoulders on the way to school. She felt closer to the sky, closer to something bigger than she was. On days like those, Yukito would smile and give her a comforting hug. The kind where something in her chest felt warm and soft. 

The days continued on like normal, her father’s gentle smiles, Touya’s hands ruffling her hair, and Yukito’s soft eyes. Sakura hears clattering from upstairs, coming from her father’s library. A strange book and a strange creature. Sakura’s days were disrupted with magical disasters and ancient spells. 

Touya finds a new stuffed animal in her room, he feels something different in the room and from his baby sister. 

A new student from Hong Kong arrives in her class. He glares at Sakura, but she ignores his eyes, focusing on the sounds of faraway scattering of leaves that fall too soon. He tries to confront her on the way out, but is stopped by Touya’s menacing figure. The boy took one look at Yukito’s face and ran away with a flushed face. 

The wind picked up that night, howling and screaming despite its once gentle demeanor that morning. Kero insisted that it must be the work of a clow card. Sakura nods, still drowsy from being half-asleep. She sneaks from her window, careful to not make any sound, though everything seems to be swallowed by the rattling of street signs and tree leaves. 

Everything stops as she whispers into the night, the wind whipping around her slowing into a drowsy breeze, until the final flutter of wind ripples the edges of the card in her hand. She hears running footsteps behind her. The boy from this morning, Syaoran, heaving heavily while holding a strange contraption. He stares at the card in her hand, unmarked. 

“Give that to me.” He says.

The door opens and Touya stands at the entrance, he calls her name. Sakura looks back and the boy is gone. She goes in. Touya closes the door behind her and asks no questions. They exchange a quiet goodnight, Sakura falls asleep to the sounds of falling leaves and wonders if Touya could hear the same thing.

The next day, Sakura is greeted with the sight of the boy talking to Yukito. Touya glared harshly and made comments as the boy retorted back. He looked as if he wanted to say something to her, but seemed wary to do so. Sakura walks next to her brother and watches Yukito make conversation with a blushing Syaoran. She feels something in her throat as Yukito fishes out a second green-candy from his pockets. Her palms sting as Syaoran accepts the gift and returns it with an earnest bow, rushing towards their school’s entrance. The thin plastic wrapper pricks at her hands, Sakura gives a distracted goodbye to her brother and his friend. She holds onto the candy in her palms for the rest of the day. 

Syaoran is quickly liked by her classmates, surrounded by curious children who bombard him with questions about his home. He is eager to share, new to having so much attention on him. Sakura ignores his constant stares, the clow cards weigh heavy in her bag. 

He catches her before reaching the school entrance. Sakura doesn’t like the look on his face.  
He extended his hand, as if waiting for her to give him something. After a few seconds of waiting with his hands still empty of whatever he was expecting to receive, he scowled. 

Harshly whispering, “Return the clow cards to me.”

Sakura stared back, "I don't know what you're talking about." 

He scowled, but she had made a dash for the doors before he could demand for the cards again. Yukito noticed her first, worried he got Touya's attention. The tall boy turned and narrowed his brows at the sight of his baby sister running from something. Behind her, he could see that troublesome kid from yesterday. Wrapping a protective arm around Sakura's shoulders, he sent a glowering stare. 

Touch my sister again and I'll knock you down.

The kid flinched and ran back to wherever he came from. Silently, he guided Sakura home as Yukito sent worried glances at the small girl. Her eyes glued onto the road in front of her.

That night Sakura woke from the feeling of a sudden drop. Her back drenched in cold sweat. Looking to her side, Kero remained fast asleep, letting out tiny snores. Choking out gasping breaths, the girl blinked rapidly at her dizzying thoughts. Clashes of metal screeches and manic sobbing throbbed her temples. Sakura stumbled from her bed and grasped for the door' s handle. Rattling the handle of Touya's door, she pushed it open. The room was dark and Touya's slow heavy breathing filled the room. Sakura fumbled at the edge of the bed and climbed on top, waking her brother in the process. Touya grumbled, half awake to find his baby sister shaking. 

"...Sakura?" He asks quietly. 

She doesn't say anything. He reaches for her to find her clothes drenched in sweat. "You need to change your clothes, you'll get sick." She shakes her head. Sighing, Touya moves from his bed to rummage through his closet, pulling out a spare t-shirt. Sakura changes into the t-shirt, her hands ice cold. He pulls his heavy blanket over her and tucks her in next to him. More relaxed than before, Sakura evens her breathing to match her brother's, slowly but surely falling asleep again. 

Her father confirms her fever the next morning. He takes the day off to take care of her. Sakura thinks that the warmth of her father's hand on her forehead is familiar. Touya comes home with Yukito as her father is in the kitchen preparing food. He goes into his room where Sakura had stayed for the day, noticing a yellow stuffed bear that wasn't there in the morning. He leaves to buy medicine from the store, Yukito stays by Sakura’s side. The girl is vaguely aware of his presence. He sits by the bed on the floor, softly recounting his day to the half-awake girl, He and Touya found that boy waiting for them at the corner street where they usually parted ways at.  
“ He seemed to be looking for you, Sakura-chan. He’s a very strange boy, don’t you agree?”  
In her fever dowsed state, Sakura could only furrow her brows and scrunch her face at the mention of Syaoran. Yukito laughed and lightly combed through her hair until Touya came back with medicine and refreshments.

Sakura stayed at home for another day, even though the throbbing pain in her head had subsided the night before. She spent the long hours with Kero as he raided the kitchen for snacks. 

“I forgot to mention” Kero blurted out with crumbs still stuck on his fur. “Did ya sign the card yet?”  
Sakura shook her head.  
Shaking off the crumbs on his face, Kero explained that the cards needed to be signed with her name so that they officially became hers. Sakura fishes the cards out of her bag, holding a marker with her other hand. 

“..my name..” she murmurs.

She shakingly writes ‘Sakura Kinomoto’, the characters stare back at her. Kero is silent as she places the cards back into her bag. The words repeat in the back of her mind for the rest of the day.


End file.
